On a recent warm spring afternoon I took the short walk to the bank of mailboxes on our street to retrieve the daily clutch of bills and ads the mail carrier delivers so faithfully. In a T-shirt, shorts and flops, and being serenaded by a mocking bird, I pondered all that is good about living in the Southwest this time of year. With a skip in my step and a smile on my face not even the mail could change my mood on this gem of a day! Or at least I thought.
When I was young I was under the misconception that mail was good. This was the means by which we received letters from friends and family. You know, the hand written kind that showed they really cared and sometimes even birthday cards with cash tucked inside. As I got older the entrepreneur in me dreamed of bundles of checks being stuffed in that box like sardines to reward that ingenious and successful business I would some day start. Sure there would be an occasional advertisement, but sifting through those was a small price to pay in return for all the goodies that would come each day.
When I was young I was under the misconception that mail was good. This was the means by which we received letters from friends and family. You know, the hand written kind that showed they really cared and sometimes even birthday cards with cash tucked inside. As I got older the entrepreneur in me dreamed of bundles of checks being stuffed in that box like sardines to reward that ingenious and successful business I would some day start. Sure there would be an occasional advertisement, but sifting through those was a small price to pay in return for all the goodies that would come each day.
The grown-up me has learned the USPS in reality is a government run organization, that for the most part, just delivers “bills and adds” six days a week, rain or shine, except for every holiday known to man save it be Groundhogs day. (I’m sure they get paid over time for working Groundhogs day)
For whatever reason, I still enjoy getting the mail. I guess its the hope of getting that surprise parcel that breaks the norm. You know a post card, a late Christmas card, a refund check or even a glossy catalog trying to sell underwear to my wife, anything but bills and ads.
No such luck on this day. Instead the letter that broke the postal monotony was the dreaded HOA letter. Yes, apparently the weed counter in my community determined the weeds in my yard exceeded the limit (whatever that may be) and felt it necessary to warn me. I make it a point to try and stay on top of these things so as I strolled back home, now with less of a skip in my step, I scanned my yard only to find a minuscule amount of newly sprouted weeds common this time of year, and, in my opinion, hardly enough to prompt a letter. I swallowed my pride and cleaned my yard spotless right then and there and thought it was a done deal.
That was until last week when a second letter came, this time, threatening me with “legal remedies” and “fines”. Again I checked out the yard and with some effort found even fewer "evil do'ers" poking through the landscape rock. It is now obvious to me the weed counter hates him or herself and for only reasons Dr Phil could explain, crawls around on hands and knees with a magnifying glass looking for weeds in my yard so as to harass me!.
At this point I snapped! Not like a postal worker snaps, but I was not going to let this pinhead ruin a second spring day with out at least trying to ruin one of his/hers in return. I am all for obeying laws and rules but this was too much. I promptly wrote a letter to the HOA board. Oh it was scathing and sarcastic! I accused the weed counter of being uptight, of just trying to make money for the HOA by being picky (probably not true but at the time sounded good) and challenged them to knock on my door next time they find me in violation and we can walk my yard together so they can point out which weed put me over the limit! I went on to complain about the common area and even put in a jab about my renting neighbors who have like 50 cars parked in front of my house every day that seem to go unnoticed by the HOA! The whole letter was probably overkill and I am sure I sounded crazy but boy did it make me feel better.
After sending the letter away I had to pause and ask myself,"really, is this what your life has come to"? Angry letters to the Home Owners Association?" I guess as I've gotten older I am more tolerant of most things. As far as noisy kids, bad drivers, and alternative music goes, I've come a long way. At the same time I have become sensitive to "governing bodies" in any form overstepping their bounds. In a day and age when so much is weighing on the minds of Americans weed notices just seem petty. Right or wrong it was my way of standing up to “big government”.
I think I will let Amber get the mail for a while:)
For whatever reason, I still enjoy getting the mail. I guess its the hope of getting that surprise parcel that breaks the norm. You know a post card, a late Christmas card, a refund check or even a glossy catalog trying to sell underwear to my wife, anything but bills and ads.
No such luck on this day. Instead the letter that broke the postal monotony was the dreaded HOA letter. Yes, apparently the weed counter in my community determined the weeds in my yard exceeded the limit (whatever that may be) and felt it necessary to warn me. I make it a point to try and stay on top of these things so as I strolled back home, now with less of a skip in my step, I scanned my yard only to find a minuscule amount of newly sprouted weeds common this time of year, and, in my opinion, hardly enough to prompt a letter. I swallowed my pride and cleaned my yard spotless right then and there and thought it was a done deal.
That was until last week when a second letter came, this time, threatening me with “legal remedies” and “fines”. Again I checked out the yard and with some effort found even fewer "evil do'ers" poking through the landscape rock. It is now obvious to me the weed counter hates him or herself and for only reasons Dr Phil could explain, crawls around on hands and knees with a magnifying glass looking for weeds in my yard so as to harass me!.
At this point I snapped! Not like a postal worker snaps, but I was not going to let this pinhead ruin a second spring day with out at least trying to ruin one of his/hers in return. I am all for obeying laws and rules but this was too much. I promptly wrote a letter to the HOA board. Oh it was scathing and sarcastic! I accused the weed counter of being uptight, of just trying to make money for the HOA by being picky (probably not true but at the time sounded good) and challenged them to knock on my door next time they find me in violation and we can walk my yard together so they can point out which weed put me over the limit! I went on to complain about the common area and even put in a jab about my renting neighbors who have like 50 cars parked in front of my house every day that seem to go unnoticed by the HOA! The whole letter was probably overkill and I am sure I sounded crazy but boy did it make me feel better.
After sending the letter away I had to pause and ask myself,"really, is this what your life has come to"? Angry letters to the Home Owners Association?" I guess as I've gotten older I am more tolerant of most things. As far as noisy kids, bad drivers, and alternative music goes, I've come a long way. At the same time I have become sensitive to "governing bodies" in any form overstepping their bounds. In a day and age when so much is weighing on the minds of Americans weed notices just seem petty. Right or wrong it was my way of standing up to “big government”.
I think I will let Amber get the mail for a while:)
4 comments:
That cracked me up! You know it's the desperate HOA who isn't getting paid on all the short sale/bank-owned homes in the neighborhood so they figured they'd come after the "responsible" homeowners! Way to sock it to them:-)
I think that's funny! I would have written back too. have you ever read the one about the guy getting a violation because the beavers built a dam on his property? It's hilarious, and reminds me of your weed issues. I can't wait to hear their response, so keep us posted :)!
I feel the exact same about HOAs! So stinkin petty! So well written for such a comment!
Scott, that was highly amusing. Thanks for the detailed rage :) I think it was even better written out.
It's a good thing you have a place to vent right?
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